if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
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I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
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did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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