She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
