Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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