oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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