your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
