your thong is hanging out like whoa
I will die if light touches me.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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