when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
