Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize