It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
