I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
