My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
