I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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