the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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