Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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