I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he was CRYING into my vagina
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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