Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
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