love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
