dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
