I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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