i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
