So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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