I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
