She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
