It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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