i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
