So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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