Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
