I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
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Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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