I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
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