Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
