no, he came in my armpit
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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