I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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