She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
