I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Is it penis luge time yet?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
