And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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