Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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