tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
