Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dicks are not precious.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
