You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just google imaged poop.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
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Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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