I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
