he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
