I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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