ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
