somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
