he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize