Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
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Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
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Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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