For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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