whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
