She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
