ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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