..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
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and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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