Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
