I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so explain again why im purple
no
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
