I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize