I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
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It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
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I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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