Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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