One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
