lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
no, he came in my armpit
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
