Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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