I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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