Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
