Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
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This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
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I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.