If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED